First off, I hope all my readers had an amazing Christmas and New Year! For now though, sit back and relax whilst you read my first post of 2017…
I have decided that last year was the storm and that this year I am determined to make that storm pass. You read all these inspiring mental health recovery stories, they say that “recovery is easy” well, no it really isn’t and I’m not going to lie at all. Recovery is just as hard because the reality is you are still ill whilst recovering. So here is my opinion on how draining recovery really is.
I started trying to start my recovery journey and I am still at the very beginning of it now. There is days where you feel like you have the tools to be able to conquer the world of recovery and there is other days where you just need to shut your eyes as soon as you open them. Let me tell you now, both of them are okay and there isn’t a right or wrong way to recover. There is no instruction guide on the “Iesha Manns Recovery Journey” that has already been written, thats because no one can see into the future, although some days that’d be so much easier! So, what I’m just starting to learn is that you have to write this so called instruction guide as you go.
Bad days should be just as valued as good days, because. otherwise how would you know what a good day really feels like? On the days where. all you can do is open your eyes, but you have to stay in bed, that’s fine because you’re still trying and thats all anyone can ask of you. If you need to relapse, then always remember that relapsing is part 0f recovery. On the days where you need to light a cigarette to calm your mind down, then in a way count that as a positive step because you are learning how to take control. At the end of the day, yes smoking kills but when you are feeling that low, nothing can kill you like your own mind!
Never listen to those mental illnesses voices, you are worth so much more than what they are saying to you. I still get confused daily between who I am and what I need to do versus what my voices are telling me. All of you who are reading this and suffering, knowing exactly what I am talking about, I want you to know that you are never alone, what you are feeling I am too. This doesn’t mean our recovery or how we’re feeling will be exactly the same, because it won’t, but if any of you ever need to message me then please feel free… the world can be an isolating place, but you are never alone!
“Every bad day is another step towards a good one, never forget that”<3