Hello my lovelies, I hope that when you read this blog, you are well! After a recent Instagram Vote I did, the majority of you wanted to know about when I came out as bisexual. So here’s my story…
I came out as bisexual in January 2017, I can honestly say it was the best thing I ever did. Everyone usually says “how long did you know you liked girls, before you came out?”. The truth is, I genuinely had no idea until I met up with a girl, who a few weeks later became my first girlfriend. I thought that girls were fit, but I had friends that are the straighter than straight and say that girls are pretty, or fit etc, so I didn’t think anything of it!
My first girlfriend came down for the weekend to visit me for the first time, although we were friends at that point. We started getting closer throughout the weekend though, day trips became ‘date days’ and we’d hold hands wherever we went from then on. That night we sat and watched a movie together, then she turned and looked at me and we just ended up kissing. I didn’t feel anything but pure love and happiness and for the first time, I felt like a relationship could work. If it wasn’t meant to be, I’d have known, but I just felt that sense of belonging and I really liked it! She had a mattress on the floor and I was in my bed, although I remember falling asleep cuddling her and half woke up the next morning and realised we’d fallen asleep together! Again though, it didn’t feel strange, it felt like things should have always been this way.
We just ended up getting closer during that weekend, a few hours before she was getting picked up to go home, my mum suggested all 3 of us go out for an hour. At the time, I thought me and this girl had kept things lowkey and not that obvious… looking back I was the least suttle person ever! We were constantly holding hands, constantly flirting and you could just tell we were more than ‘just friends’, as my mum quickly worked out, but didn’t question me, which was so good!
Anyway, the girl I was with left to go home that night and we both agreed we want to start seeing each other, dating, relationship wise. I fell asleep smiling like an idiot! I woke up the next morning and suddenly realised that I’d have to come out as bisexual to my friends and family… I FREAKED OUT BIG TIME!
I started googling ways I could come out, phoning friends etc. She visited a few more times after that and we wanted to make it ‘Facebook official’. With that, I completely got out of telling anyone face to face, and I came out to ALL of my friends and family through social media, (I wouldn’t recommend it!). I got so many messages from family who felt like ‘I didn’t want to tell them personally’ first off, that was the negative part. But, the amount of comments on social media were all so positive, which outweighed the scary prospect that everyone thought I was upset with them! I just couldn’t find the words, but looking back I have no idea why I was so scared, because I’m so open about my sexuality now.
It wasn’t easy, but hands down the best thing I ever did. Although my first relationship with a girl didn’t last long, it made me realise that actually yes, I do like relationships with girls and it was my starting point to my new part of life. Of course I got the “oh it’s just a phase comments”, but they soon realised it wasn’t and became happy for me!
Its a rollercoaster, but I love it and in 2018 it’s not so much of a big deal if you are thinking of coming out! Do what makes you happy, don’t hide who you are for the sake of others.
Stay happy and healthy, sending my best wishes,
Love, Iesha 💖